Music.  Is there anything else as ubiquitous?  Is there any other facet of our culture as omnipresent, as inescapable, as music?  No, there is not.  We are subjected to music as constantly as we are to oxygen, but unlike oxygen, music is terrible.

Terrible.

Spare me your rebuttals, your protestations, your outrage.  Music is terrible, and that is that.  “Oh, but what about the Beatles, and Mozart, and that one Jay-Z album that everyone owns?” you cry.  What about them?  What colour is the sky?  Blue, the sky is blue.  Except for about 50% of the time, when it’s black.  It’s called night-time.  The sky is black half of the time, but ask anyone what colour the sky is, and they will say blue.  So what about the Beatles, and Mozart, and that one Jay-Z album everyone owns?  They are tiny seahorses floating in an ocean of terribleness.  Do we say the ocean is made up of water, and tiny seahorses?  No, the oceans are made of water.  And music is made up of terribleness.

What are we to do about this?  What can we do about this?  Music has the greatest PR team in the history of mankind.  Every day we are programmed to think music is mankind’s greatest achievement, the culmination of all our millennia of culture and civilization. That when we finally make contact with the aliens, it will be music that bridges the gap of millions of light years.

What a bunch of horsecrap.  Music is the worst.

And that’s what we can do.  Get the word out that music is terrible.  Music is the emperor, and it’s clothes are non-terribleness, and it has none!

Welcome to a new age of enlightenment.

Welcome to Music is Terrible.